The Man in the Mirror — The Woman in the Mirror
Have you ever looked in the mirror in the morning and thought: Hello, my life is somehow going differently than I imagined?
You are not alone! Leadership starts with the (wo)man in the mirror. Only those who understand people and themselves can develop their full potential.
How does reality get into my head?
Why do I feel the way I feel?
Why do I behave the way I do?
What would be an extraordinary life for me?
“What can we learn about humans and ourselves from brain research, evolutionary biology, positive psychology and more than 30 years of experience?”
We learn that our brain functions biochemically, i.e. that the predominant messenger substances or neurotransmitters determine our reality and perception. In the case of anxiety and stress, these are, for example, noradrenaline, adrenaline and cortisol.
When these messengers flood your brain, it switches to autopilot and emergency programme — with only three options for action: Shock freeze, flight or attack.
There is then no room for empathy, creativity, compassion or clear thinking. Remind yourself how you feel when you are full of fear or really stressed. You are simply no longer in control of your senses. We humans are not rational thinkers, but rather “feeling systems” in which emotions have the first and last word.
Emotions are the motor of reason
E-motions are the actual motives, they are the energies that move us. So it has to get under the skin if it is to work. Or to put it another way: “Everything that is not emotional is basically worthless for our brain”. We simply cannot remember.
In any case, it is helpful to always remember that there are negative as well as positive emotions and that the negative emotions unfortunately have a much stronger “effect” than the positive ones.
Survival as a species can be logically deduced from this. Intellectual engagement with the famous sabre-toothed tiger was simply not a good idea for Homo Sapiens. This may be one reason why the serious “doubter” is still assigned the label of good reflection and rather higher intelligence today.
Our emotions are a universal language and our emotions are very contagious. (How much economic damage do you think is caused by negative energy in businesses?)
We are social animals
Did you know that our evolutionary heritage has a massive influence on our behaviour today? One of the strongest evolutionary filters is called “belonging”. When we humans feel a sense of belonging, of being part of a group (family, friends, team, company, football club), our body/mind system rewards us with the release of serotonin, a happiness hormone.
Loyalty is therefore a biological phenomenon. That’s why I dare to say that the really successful companies and brands have long since recognised this and actively use it. They don’t actually sell products, but use precisely this filter and satisfy this need.
One conveys the feeling of belonging. You can observe this in the Apple Store, at Nespresso, or in the Weber Grill Shop. “Not belonging” has the exact opposite effect, it simply hurts and aches. Not being seen is therefore the number one criticism of many employees.
Evolutionary biology teaches us that we humans have much more in common than separates us, we are all one species, Homo Sapiens. And yet the logic of life (biology) teaches us that each of us exists exactly once. And that is what matters in life.
Every human being is unique. You are unique!
Finding your uniqueness and then living consistently according to it is, in my view, the very great task of existence. A successful and successful life succeeds precisely when each individual can unfold his or her potential and bring it into the world. Joy is the necessary compass for this.
Goethe already knew that one should follow the wisdom of one’s heart. This is confirmed by the science of positive psychology. The inner mood has a decisive influence on individual perception and external results.
Just consider how you perceive your own world at the moment of highest infatuation and then alternatively at the moment of highest despair, or even depression. Feel the difference. Where are the colours, the energy and the confidence when your mood is down?
And please ask yourself at this very moment whether anything has really changed in the world outside. So is our perception dependent on our mood and is this in turn caused by corresponding messenger substances? Is the world as each of us sees it always a self-made illusion?
Make better decisions!
Our lives are determined by our decisions. So let us make good and right decisions and realise that success is always a consequence and never a prerequisite. Success is a result, or exactly what follows when you follow yourself. It takes responsibility or self-responsibility — it’s about providing answers. First and foremost for one’s own life.
Leadership in this context means self-leadership. Leadership is not a hierarchical phenomenon, but a question of character, values and taking responsibility.
Those who want to lead or have to lead other people should always start with themselves. Then you lead as a role model, then people follow you voluntarily. So what are you waiting for? Set out, say “yes” to the person who meets you in the mirror.
Because the relationship with yourself, is the basis of your relationships with all other people. Only those who are fulfilled themselves can fulfil other people. “You can’t give away what you don’t have!”
Good luck. Bert M Ohnemüller is a human being, husband, father of four children, author, key-note speaker, high-performance business coach and missionary of the “Decade of Humanity”.
7 Inspirations
Only those who understand people and themselves can be successful in the long term.
Everything that is not emotional is worthless to the brain.
Belonging makes you happy.
Our own uniqueness is the gift and the task.
Let’s make good decisions.
From joy to truth to success.
All you need is LOVE.
